Good Enough? Maybe, Maybe not.

I often find myself lost in thoughts, daydreaming or just wandering away from the things I’m supposed to do. Dreaming about a place, an ideal scenario, a life; where I would’ve made different, maybe somewhat sensible and correct choices. Instead of rushing through, acting on impulse almost always, I should’ve thought things through, weighed the pros and cons of everything and then locked my decision. But me being me (highly impulsive and terribly indecisive), always always act on a whim without even giving the consequences even a cursory thought.

Most of the times, I end up wondering about what could’ve been, had I made a different choice. It’s only human to wonder, think and assure yourself that maybe the door you did not choose, the one you abandoned for the other; maybe, just maybe, had everything you ever wished for. That’s when you think you made an incorrect choice, doubt yourself and often wonder – Is this good enough? Maybe, Maybe not.

This happens almost always with me and I feel it is safe to say that I know there are many more mortals like me out there in the big, dark, crazy world who doubt, wonder and second guess everything in life. I plead guilty. Maybe because we are tuned in ways where we doubt ourselves, by default. 

After having made the choice, I always wonder if it was the right thing for me and those around me. The immediate thoughts that run in my mind are: Am I good enough for him/her? Am I good enough at work? Am I good enough for my family? Am I? Maybe. Maybe not. Most of the times, in this maybe/maybe not game I play with my mind, the answer almost always ends up being – Maybe not.

The never ending could’ve, should’ve and what if scenarios playing incessantly in my head, triggering the one question we all keep battling throughout our lives – Am I good enough? Answer to which almost always remains – maybe not.

Having ranted all of the above, I don’t regret being impulsive or taking uncalculated risks because let’s be honest it is exactly what has brought me where I am today- maybe my mistakes or choices have made me take the longer route, different route, maybe. But I’m content. At least that’s what I think.

Good enough? Well, maybe.

In Omnia Paratus

I heard this Latin phrase for the first time while I was binge watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. And oh boy! I fell in love with not only the characters namely Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger, but also with the phrase – In Omnia Paratus. For those of you who haven’t watched the series or don’t know what this phrase means, let me give you some context.

So, the quintessential girl-next-door character Rory in the series Gilmore girls is on a quest to find details about an elite club – The life and death brigade – for the university daily. She attends and partakes in the events of this elite club or society whose motto is ‘In Omnia Paratus’ which means ready for anything. This phrase has been stuck in my head for all the right reasons. Firstly, because I fell in love with Logan for being the guy I have always dreamt about. Second and most importantly, the Latin phrase is so powerful, motivating you to be ready for whatever comes your way.

For someone like me who is scared about everything, right from selecting a new ice cream flavour to try a new sport because what if I don’t like the flavor I choose to experiment with or what if I fall, hurt myself and get scarred? This is applicable in every other aspect of my life, be it personal or professional. I second guess myself a lot and mostly end up playing the role of devil’s advocate, 9 out of 10 times in a day. I’ve never liked taking chances in my life, always looked forward to certainty with regards to everything, right from the people in my life to my career - I like and prefer being certain about everything.

But hey, you cannot always control things. And if there’s something that I’ve learnt from everything I’ve been through, then it’s this – you have to take a chance no matter what, never know who or what might surprise you and sweep you off your feet. And this is when this Latin phrase struck all the right chords with me. I’m not saying that I’m not scared anymore about taking chances, facing uncertainty; but I sure have found strength in me to jump into the unknown, all the while hoping it turns out to be good.

Life isn’t perfect, right? When you’re sad, you look forward to being happy and when you’re finally happy, you worry about how things could possibly go wrong. It’s a vicious cycle that will never stop but I guess, you’ve to live with it and be ready for anything and everything that might come your away. The best and only fool proof plan that you can have is to take everything in your stride, face your difficulties and struggles head on, and emerge a winner. Don’t let anyone or anything pull you down and make you doubt your worth or mettle. Not even your own insecurities, self-doubt or self-pity. 

Every morning, when you wake up say this to yourself and I bet you’ll have a spring in your step and a smile on your face. To all the girlies – It’ll help keep the wrinkles at bay. *Wink* *Wink* 

Worth a try, right? Keep smiling.

Happiness is free

Sometimes I wonder why we run behind material things and worldly pleasures? why are we constantly chasing something or the other? Why do we think that only material possessions might bring happiness in our lives? Why are we becoming so shallow day by day? Why the greed and jealousy? Why do we envy others and judge them? Dude, what's the point of it all?

At the end of the day, we wont take any of these riches, awards and wealth along with us. Then why don't we seek more genuine happiness in our lives? The kind of happiness that is contagious and sends good vibes to those around us! We can just share it and see it multiply! Just simply smile at the lift man who you see everyday at your office building or maybe even a total random person, I bet you'll feel good instantly and that will definitely make your day! These little things will bring more happiness than those fat paychecks, shiny metals and expensive clothing ever can. I'm not saying that I'm not fond of these worldly posessions, of course I am!  But they certainly don't make my heart happy. And I would rather look for things and experiences that make my heart happy!

The other day I went to watch "The Jungle Book" with my 8 year old cousin. Oh boy! the excitement and the smile she had on her face was priceless. The happiness that she radiated, the innocence in her eyes and the way she enjoyed each and every moment without being

bothered about the people around her, it got me thinking! I realized we grown ups have forgotten to feel such kind of happiness, we have forgotten to express our feelings. We constantly keep chasing things one after the other but we seldom stop and rejoice in what we already have! We find everything so mundane and routine that we fail to enjoy the moment we're in and instead we constantly think about and anticipate the future. Sad but true, we've forgotten to feel truly, madly and deeply happy about the little things in life.

We always try to find answers to the " Why's and What if's " of life. And in this process we miss out on the little joys that life offers us. Sometimes we overlook the little things and rest of the time we just take everything for granted. We're never happy and content with what we have and continuously keep searching and seeking because yeh dil mange more! And this Dil of ours keeps asking for more and more. There's no end to this. So we start looking for happinesss where none exists and lose the true essence of life altogether!

So, probably we should slow down a little, We're not a machine right! The time we have is limited but the opportunities to experience happiness  and the little joys are abundant! And instead of looking away, searching for something else in a hopeless and never-ending quest, you and me should sieze the opportunity when it comes our way knocking at our door! Well, Carpe Diem much? 

Fun Fact: Smile. Laugh. Love. Spread happiness. These things are totally tax free! ;)

Keep smiling, Stay Happy! :)

Now - the new forever

      It’s funny how things change. It is said that change is an inevitable part of life. Totally agree. These changes aren’t so obvious and evident instantly. It may all look the same but when you ponder and look back you realize how far you’ve come.For example, two people start at point ‘A’ and as time passes by they reach point ‘E’ in their journey together. When they look back at the steps taken together and the years that have passed by, they notice the changes. It’s not only about the change in environment and external surroundings. But change in their equations, Change in their way of interacting with each other. Or maybe a change in the way they feel about each other. You can change in a million ways and still feel the same.

     Of course change is important and inevitable at the same time. We all know this. But I fail to realize the rationale behind change in feelings for people around you. Especially the ones you called ‘special’.  And the logic behind losing someone’s company – a friend, best friend or special someone- doesn’t make sense. It’s like trying to convince yourself to forget someone you loved and whose presence you cherished. Of course you’ll be devastated. But at the same time it’s true that you’ll get over it. Because Hey! everyone has the right to decide who stays and who doesn’t. So probably the best way out of this mess is to wrap up the bundle of memories, lock it inside your heart, wish the best for them and walk away. Remember that it’s best for you and them too. It is a universal fact that if something belongs to you and if it is meant for you, it will find its way back no matter what happens.

     In the past couple of months, staying away from home, interacting with new and different people, I’ve learned a lot of things. Lessons that I wouldn’t have understood if I were at home being pampered with love, warmth and care. Firstly, don’t take people around you for granted. They’re there because they love you. Secondly, keep reminding them now and then that you love them and that you appreciate their presence in your life. If something random happens and you’re reminded of them, call them or maybe send a text, it will bring a smile on their face and make their day. Thirdly, not everyone loves in the same way as you do. Every person is different and so is their way of expressing! Some might be able to say it, while others won’t. But they’ll express through their little gestures that would scream out loud that they love you. Don’t be too stupid to not notice!

    And don’t expect everything to last forever. As bad as it might sound but ‘forever’ is a myth created by people like you and me to make our hearts feel secure. So instead of wishing for forever, let’s wish for ‘NOW’. Live in the present, Love people now, care for them now, be there for them now. And forever won’t be too far. Keep smiling Stay happy. 

A New Beginning!

I've often seen people protect their hearts fiercely. Even if that means that they get labelled as heartless, stone hearted and cold. Probably because they've been hurt badly or maybe they've seen someone close go through hell. And more often than not, people get scared more because they've seen someone go through hell and suffer the pain. And maybe that is why we shield our hearts and wrap it with a 'Handle With Care'  tag.

When we suffer a heartbreak, it could be anything from someone breaking our trust,  leaving us in the middle of nowhere, or maybe just walking out for no reason. I've realized that it is not the heartbreak that causes the pain. It is the feeling of change and the fear of it that hurts and makes a person sad. It isn't the agony caused by a fight that haunts us, it is the darkness that the memories of the past brings into our present.

Most of us, see people go through hell, suffer silently and accept the pain. And this is the reason why most of us just generalize and jump to conclusions. We think that we're better off alone. We believe that building a wall around our heart will save us the trouble.We choose to not get close to anyone, often questioning the most genuine souls too. Because maybe somewhere deep down in our heart we believe that we might just fall for the wrong person.

We are tuned in such a way that we give way more than we receive. And most of the time, I've seen that people shower the wrong people with care, love, attention and time. And mind you, if someone gives you their attention, cares for you, loves you and gives you their time, it isn't because they have nothing else to do, it is because they have thousand other things to look after but still chooses you. But after a point, we just tend to give up. We give up on people, give up our hopes and mostly give up on life.

We live in our own world, where we choose to not understand things around us, living through the confusion, not believing that anything can happen if you give life another chance. And time and again, people move on and give life a second chance. A second chance to start afresh, to believe in magic and dream of dreams that could be true. And as they say ' Dil toh bacha hai ji!' Have faith and believe in the start of something new.

No Strings Attached!

We humans are tuned in such a way that we love and care for those who are close to us. We do everything possible in our capacity to keep them happy. We seldom think twice before putting their wish and happiness before ours. Somewhere in our hearts we seek happiness in their joy. And in these times, we are the most ‘selfless’ individuals. We give way more than we have, We do things beyond our capacity. We are ready to cross oceans and move mountains for them. And we expect the same love and care in return.

The problem starts when we expect the same things in return. We expect the opposite person to be like us and do things that we would whole heartedly do for them. And when they do not meet our set standards or expectations, we get hurt. We start to wonder about our importance in their life. We wonder if even they would be willing to cross oceans for us. We wonder if we ever meant anything to them. So to say the least, our ‘love’ comes with  ‘*’ – a terms and conditions apply tag. We often forget that every individual is different. And that is why we try to judge them with parameters that we’ve set for ourselves.

As kids, we were often taught in our ‘moral science class’ that every individual is unique. Obviously, you wouldn’t be happy if someone is your exact copy in any way. We all know this, but we kind of forgot it when we left school. Some of us can express ourselves easily. But some of us just can’t get ourselves to express or convey what we feel. Some of us are outgoing and friendly, but others may take time to be able to express happiness or hurt. So maybe one person may regard something as good, but at the same time someone else might not find it conducive.  But this doesn’t mean that those who can’t get themselves to express their love and care easily don’t feel anything. Of course they do, but they choose not to be so open about their feelings and choices.

We don’t open up to anybody and everybody. Probably we’re scared of being misunderstood, scared of being hurt and alone or maybe just scared of being rejected. Somewhere our own insecurities and doubts hold us back. Maybe we’re too scared of being attached. Someone once told me: “never get attached to anyone or anything, learn to let go”. But my only argument was how do you not get attach to someone or something? Should you like stop and become anti-social? Because maybe if you do nothing you might not end up getting attached to anything or anyone.  (And I know that’s not possible right) Then how do you do it? It is like doing something that has the power to hurt you, but not actually giving it the power to do so. A Metaphor.

There is this universal rule: Everything that comes together falls apart. And we need to understand this. If we deserve something, it will come to you. But of course you need to make efforts to achieve it. And after a point, you need to let things unfold on its own. Ever heard of karma? She has a strange way of coming back and give you what you deserve. So keep sending out love and happiness in the universe, and see how this comes back to you in abundance. Always believe that if its meant for you, it will come back to you sooner or later. So Keep smiling through the confusion and live life by one rule: No strings attached! Stay happy !

Second thoughts

         Broken Friendships. Failed Relationships. Forgotten Dreams. Empty Promises. We believed them to be forever. But then does forever end the way we die? or is it the beginning?

         It is beyond my understanding that why do we meet new people in every phase of our life. Because everyone comes for a specific purpose and time. Some disappear in a blink of an eye. While, some stay no matter what the season. In life, we have the good apples and the bad ones. Few in our lives are the good apple, while others are the bad apples. The bad apples teach us some life-changing lessons; maybe we need it, maybe we don't. I mean why can't everyone just be a good apple? If i had my way, I'd make sure nobody had any bad experiences. Every person adds meaning to our life, leads us towards the direction we ought to go. But then why do we break friendships and why do we fail in relationships?

        We dream of achieving so much in a short span. Mostly, we dream about fame and money. But we also dream of never-ending love and being with those we love and care about.  But our dream for momentary pleasure overpowers our dream of love. We choose one over the other. Our worldly 'needs' outweigh our hearts 'desire'. In our conquest of achieving fame we forget the power of love. And someday we will pursue these forgotten dreams.

        We, humans, do two things very often and without giving a second thought. Just because it is cool and easy. First, swear. And second, Promise. There's no cure or prevention for the either of them. We promise too much and much too often. We seldom realize the value of promises being made. I believe if you promise something to a dear one, come what may, keep your word. Not for your own pride. Not for the devil named 'ego'. But out of respect to your relation with that person and the bond you share. And trust me, your heart will always be happy. Just imagine a world with fulfilled promises. <3

        We fight with the one's we love. And we fight for them with others. We fight with them for their love and care. Because only your heart knows that no matter how much you fight with them, they'll always love you. And they will always and forever be the precious people of your life. These 'precious people' may come in your life for a temporary period or maybe forever. Secret to be happy is to cherish them while you have them with you, Create memories - bitter and sweet, love unconditionally. And you'll never worry about happily ever after or a forever. because you already had a lovely beginning and a memorable middle. :D

       So next time maybe, you're in doubt about a friendship or a relationship, or maybe you're thinking of giving up on your dream and those promises, Stop and think why you came so far? Is what you 'have' worth giving up for what 'may be' ? Give your doubt a second thought, and i'm sure you wont just give up. Keep smiling! Stay happy! :D 

Happy Endings!

           Exams finally get over and i return to the love of my life - the TV! ( yes you read it right ) So i happened to come across 'The Santa Clause' Series being aired on one of the movie channels. Trust me, the little kid in me didn't want to go to sleep, though i was tired and sleepy as hell. The movie made me reflect on these little things of life - our little actions, behaviour, thoughts, etc. 

            The movie more or less advocates about keeping the kid in you, alive. When we grow up, we see things from a different perspective - one filled with logic and facts. There is no place for delusional things like magic and hope. But if you observe a child, he has this magic in his eyes, spring in his step and innocence in his actions. He believes in his parents and people who shower him with love and care. He demands nothing but love and affection. And that too, in abundance. He wont doubt you for a moment and will have complete faith in you. He embraces you with all your strengths and weaknesses. Loves you unconditionally and will only demand love in return. He will consider you his 'own'. He'll bring a smile to your face and brighten up your day. He believes in fairytale. And that wishing on a star makes your wish come true. That Li'l bundle of joy, however naughty, will teach you lessons of life despite having no wrinkles on his face and grey in his hair.

            If you come to think of it, a child is smart and wise than us - grown ups. We grow up and we grow apart from each other. We grow apart from those we love, things we believe, etc. People we loved turn into people we loved once upon a time. And things we believed in become delusional and nonsense for us. We trade the magic in our eyes for 'worldly pleasures', the spring in our step is burdened with responsibilities disguised as 'chores' and innocence is replaced by 'Practical thinking'. We fail to trust those we love and we love those who don't trust us. We seek everything, but love. We doubt intentions of every person who is good to us. We embrace people who have their pockets filled with money and who have a status worth showing off. We are more interested in searching 'arm candies' rather than establishing some soulful connections.We are in love with the idea of being in love. And we feel let down when the love we receive isn't in tandem with our idea of love. For us love is nothing but "mein tumhare liye chand-sitaarein tod launga" (I'll bring the moon and stars for you). We compel ourselves to believe that fairytales are a myth, that there is no such thing as a 'happy ending', we seldom believe in 'Happily-ever-after". No amount of wrinkle on our face and grey in our hair will be able to make us realize the value of people around us.

            So, why think so much? why don't we just have faith and put our trust in god and hope for the best? why do we give up so easily? why do we believe that happy endings are just fairytale stuff? Maybe its time to wake that li'll kid in us! and it's time to enjoy your lives, believe in the power of love and have faith in HIS plan. And maybe its not about the happy ending, its about the story! 

Love. Smile. Believe.

       All along this journey called life, we meet many people, build many relationships, create memories - good as well as bad, we love a few, care for them, receive love and care from those around us, make people feel special and a few make you feel special too. Then there are few bitter moments, fights, hurting others- knowingly or unknowingly, lose someone you  love, have misunderstandings... these things tear you apart and make you feel worthless. All of this makes your story. We don't realize, but all of this - each and every thing - however small and irrelevant event in our life makes our journey worth the while. 

      After every happy moment there has to be something that tears you apart. Just like after every bright morning there comes a night so dark that it scares you, but after every such scary dark night, comes a bright new morning... This promise of a bright morning and the hope in our heart, makes us live each day of our life. Similarly after every failure, every heartbreak, every loss, there lies ahead of us success, love, care, happiness - in abundance! 

      "If you don't see a dream come true, maybe it's not "yet" time ..."  It is this "hope" that is instilled in our hearts that makes us pick ourselves up every-time we stumble and fall. We should take both the good and the bad things in our stride and move ahead. People come into your life for a purpose. Everything happens for a reason. We wont realize this right away, but one day it will all make sense. When happiness arrives, say, “Welcome, Make yourself comfortable." when she  leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Similarly even when people leave you, let them leave, but do believe in the bond you shared, the memories you made, keep full faith and trust in your relations and they will find their way back to you! Have faith in god and his plans! 

                                                                                                               

      When you reach at the end of the rope, tie a knot and hold on! And remember, there is light at the end of every tunnel. The only difference is some tunnels are short while most of them are long, dark and scary. It's how you deal with these long, dark and scary nights that matter the most and this is what makes you strong. 

      In all this chaos and madness of life, remember to wear your best smile and be happy, feel happy and stay positive. All the ups and downs, every failure, every heartbreak and every other thing that puts you down is just making you strong, making you realize the worth of what you have, to treasure everything and everyone around you. 

Keep Smiling and Stay Happy! :D