Good Enough? Maybe, Maybe not.

I often find myself lost in thoughts, daydreaming or just wandering away from the things I’m supposed to do. Dreaming about a place, an ideal scenario, a life; where I would’ve made different, maybe somewhat sensible and correct choices. Instead of rushing through, acting on impulse almost always, I should’ve thought things through, weighed the pros and cons of everything and then locked my decision. But me being me (highly impulsive and terribly indecisive), always always act on a whim without even giving the consequences even a cursory thought.

Most of the times, I end up wondering about what could’ve been, had I made a different choice. It’s only human to wonder, think and assure yourself that maybe the door you did not choose, the one you abandoned for the other; maybe, just maybe, had everything you ever wished for. That’s when you think you made an incorrect choice, doubt yourself and often wonder – Is this good enough? Maybe, Maybe not.

This happens almost always with me and I feel it is safe to say that I know there are many more mortals like me out there in the big, dark, crazy world who doubt, wonder and second guess everything in life. I plead guilty. Maybe because we are tuned in ways where we doubt ourselves, by default. 

After having made the choice, I always wonder if it was the right thing for me and those around me. The immediate thoughts that run in my mind are: Am I good enough for him/her? Am I good enough at work? Am I good enough for my family? Am I? Maybe. Maybe not. Most of the times, in this maybe/maybe not game I play with my mind, the answer almost always ends up being – Maybe not.

The never ending could’ve, should’ve and what if scenarios playing incessantly in my head, triggering the one question we all keep battling throughout our lives – Am I good enough? Answer to which almost always remains – maybe not.

Having ranted all of the above, I don’t regret being impulsive or taking uncalculated risks because let’s be honest it is exactly what has brought me where I am today- maybe my mistakes or choices have made me take the longer route, different route, maybe. But I’m content. At least that’s what I think.

Good enough? Well, maybe.

Happiness is free

Sometimes I wonder why we run behind material things and worldly pleasures? why are we constantly chasing something or the other? Why do we think that only material possessions might bring happiness in our lives? Why are we becoming so shallow day by day? Why the greed and jealousy? Why do we envy others and judge them? Dude, what's the point of it all?

At the end of the day, we wont take any of these riches, awards and wealth along with us. Then why don't we seek more genuine happiness in our lives? The kind of happiness that is contagious and sends good vibes to those around us! We can just share it and see it multiply! Just simply smile at the lift man who you see everyday at your office building or maybe even a total random person, I bet you'll feel good instantly and that will definitely make your day! These little things will bring more happiness than those fat paychecks, shiny metals and expensive clothing ever can. I'm not saying that I'm not fond of these worldly posessions, of course I am!  But they certainly don't make my heart happy. And I would rather look for things and experiences that make my heart happy!

The other day I went to watch "The Jungle Book" with my 8 year old cousin. Oh boy! the excitement and the smile she had on her face was priceless. The happiness that she radiated, the innocence in her eyes and the way she enjoyed each and every moment without being

bothered about the people around her, it got me thinking! I realized we grown ups have forgotten to feel such kind of happiness, we have forgotten to express our feelings. We constantly keep chasing things one after the other but we seldom stop and rejoice in what we already have! We find everything so mundane and routine that we fail to enjoy the moment we're in and instead we constantly think about and anticipate the future. Sad but true, we've forgotten to feel truly, madly and deeply happy about the little things in life.

We always try to find answers to the " Why's and What if's " of life. And in this process we miss out on the little joys that life offers us. Sometimes we overlook the little things and rest of the time we just take everything for granted. We're never happy and content with what we have and continuously keep searching and seeking because yeh dil mange more! And this Dil of ours keeps asking for more and more. There's no end to this. So we start looking for happinesss where none exists and lose the true essence of life altogether!

So, probably we should slow down a little, We're not a machine right! The time we have is limited but the opportunities to experience happiness  and the little joys are abundant! And instead of looking away, searching for something else in a hopeless and never-ending quest, you and me should sieze the opportunity when it comes our way knocking at our door! Well, Carpe Diem much? 

Fun Fact: Smile. Laugh. Love. Spread happiness. These things are totally tax free! ;)

Keep smiling, Stay Happy! :)

Now - the new forever

      It’s funny how things change. It is said that change is an inevitable part of life. Totally agree. These changes aren’t so obvious and evident instantly. It may all look the same but when you ponder and look back you realize how far you’ve come.For example, two people start at point ‘A’ and as time passes by they reach point ‘E’ in their journey together. When they look back at the steps taken together and the years that have passed by, they notice the changes. It’s not only about the change in environment and external surroundings. But change in their equations, Change in their way of interacting with each other. Or maybe a change in the way they feel about each other. You can change in a million ways and still feel the same.

     Of course change is important and inevitable at the same time. We all know this. But I fail to realize the rationale behind change in feelings for people around you. Especially the ones you called ‘special’.  And the logic behind losing someone’s company – a friend, best friend or special someone- doesn’t make sense. It’s like trying to convince yourself to forget someone you loved and whose presence you cherished. Of course you’ll be devastated. But at the same time it’s true that you’ll get over it. Because Hey! everyone has the right to decide who stays and who doesn’t. So probably the best way out of this mess is to wrap up the bundle of memories, lock it inside your heart, wish the best for them and walk away. Remember that it’s best for you and them too. It is a universal fact that if something belongs to you and if it is meant for you, it will find its way back no matter what happens.

     In the past couple of months, staying away from home, interacting with new and different people, I’ve learned a lot of things. Lessons that I wouldn’t have understood if I were at home being pampered with love, warmth and care. Firstly, don’t take people around you for granted. They’re there because they love you. Secondly, keep reminding them now and then that you love them and that you appreciate their presence in your life. If something random happens and you’re reminded of them, call them or maybe send a text, it will bring a smile on their face and make their day. Thirdly, not everyone loves in the same way as you do. Every person is different and so is their way of expressing! Some might be able to say it, while others won’t. But they’ll express through their little gestures that would scream out loud that they love you. Don’t be too stupid to not notice!

    And don’t expect everything to last forever. As bad as it might sound but ‘forever’ is a myth created by people like you and me to make our hearts feel secure. So instead of wishing for forever, let’s wish for ‘NOW’. Live in the present, Love people now, care for them now, be there for them now. And forever won’t be too far. Keep smiling Stay happy.