The Rants of a Twenty Something

Thinking about the could have’s and would have’s, imagining how your life would turn out to be if you would have made different choices and painting an imaginary picture in your head of the perfect happy life, we’ve all done this at some point or the other as we stride through our 20s! To say the least, I have thought about all these and more and it’s not even like a once-in-a-blue-moon kinda thing, it is more of a my-favorite-hobby kind of stuff. Guilty as charged. And I thought it is just me, but turns out most of us go through this, irrespective of the age bracket we fall in. For most of us who have just started out, I’d like to welcome you to the approaching-mid-twenties crisis club! (or maybe twisted twenties? Doesn’t matter, bleh. And yes, don’t worry you don’t need a formal swearing in ceremony or an invite to the exclusive club, open for all, I say)

As we begin the most exciting phases of our life, the part we’ve always looked forward to since we were tiny weeny kids, where we ought to be all charged up, enthusiastic and clear headed about all the possibilities that lie ahead of us. The irony is, we are the exact opposite, to be precise we are clueless as hell, nervous wrecks, waiting for someone to give us some sense of direction that too like literally hold our hands and point it out to us and say, “here child, this is the path you can take and this is how you go about”. And I know at this point many will disagree with me by saying “No we want to live life on our own terms and we wouldn’t want someone to dictate anything to us”. Well true that, but what do you do when you lose sight of that terms and conditions you made up for yourself? Think think.

You constantly struggle with each passing day, what with people weighing you down with plenty of decisions to make and countless hearts to keep happy. And trust me, taking decisions can get you down so badly that a petty thing like, say for instance deciding on a PG to stay, can get you worried and depressed beyond repair (experience speaks), where you’ll constantly question yourself whether it was the right choice you made. Expectations weigh you down and what adds more to all this drama is that you’re expected to be correct every time! That is too much to ask for, trust me I still get troubled while deciding on which flavor ice-cream should I get or what to have for lunch, while constantly thinking in my head “is that the right flavor for me?”. Don’t ask me to take life changing decisions, please? Too much stress I tell you.

And the constant need to be politically correct, everywhere. Leave alone the things you say, but also the expressions on your face also matters. I mean I hate the fact that my tongue and my expressions never matches, nope, I cannot control this one. Sighs. And most of us end up with a foot-in-the-mouth situation at the wrong time and at the wrong place with the wrong people. So much for freedom of speech?

On the other hand, friends and the special one’s in your life are supposed to make you feel happy. But no, how can you be happy and content with your life, especially when you’re in your twisted twenties? But when you’re doomed, everything and everyone decides to be after your life. Making sure that you don’t get on anyone’s nerves coupled with conversations that you must tread carefully or you might just get beaten up with heavy doses of emotional blackmail, is like walking inside a tunnel and hoping for a ray of light but instead the tunnel gets darker and darker as you keep trudging along. The thing is you’re no longer a kid, so you cannot just act like one, but it is perfectly fine when people around you behave like an infant who’s on a crying spree. But then did we get a warning that you’re supposed to be a patient and thoughtful grown up? Maybe that would’ve helped a teeny-weeny bit. Maybe. Maybe not.

Being in your twenties is fun, I must say (I feel better) but at the same time it is like you’re juggling several things and you’re failing miserably. In an attempt to save something, we are losing out on everything else. It’s like a race; a race to keep everyone happy, a race to prove that you’re totally worth it, and a race that has no finish line. The only difference is that you’re in a race with yourself, your own inhibitions and insecurities, your own shortcomings and issues. Sighs. If the twenties are so twisted, I just cannot imagine how the thirties will turn out to be, scared much? Hell yeah! But till then keep smiling and take in one day at a time. ?

Now - the new forever

      It’s funny how things change. It is said that change is an inevitable part of life. Totally agree. These changes aren’t so obvious and evident instantly. It may all look the same but when you ponder and look back you realize how far you’ve come.For example, two people start at point ‘A’ and as time passes by they reach point ‘E’ in their journey together. When they look back at the steps taken together and the years that have passed by, they notice the changes. It’s not only about the change in environment and external surroundings. But change in their equations, Change in their way of interacting with each other. Or maybe a change in the way they feel about each other. You can change in a million ways and still feel the same.

     Of course change is important and inevitable at the same time. We all know this. But I fail to realize the rationale behind change in feelings for people around you. Especially the ones you called ‘special’.  And the logic behind losing someone’s company – a friend, best friend or special someone- doesn’t make sense. It’s like trying to convince yourself to forget someone you loved and whose presence you cherished. Of course you’ll be devastated. But at the same time it’s true that you’ll get over it. Because Hey! everyone has the right to decide who stays and who doesn’t. So probably the best way out of this mess is to wrap up the bundle of memories, lock it inside your heart, wish the best for them and walk away. Remember that it’s best for you and them too. It is a universal fact that if something belongs to you and if it is meant for you, it will find its way back no matter what happens.

     In the past couple of months, staying away from home, interacting with new and different people, I’ve learned a lot of things. Lessons that I wouldn’t have understood if I were at home being pampered with love, warmth and care. Firstly, don’t take people around you for granted. They’re there because they love you. Secondly, keep reminding them now and then that you love them and that you appreciate their presence in your life. If something random happens and you’re reminded of them, call them or maybe send a text, it will bring a smile on their face and make their day. Thirdly, not everyone loves in the same way as you do. Every person is different and so is their way of expressing! Some might be able to say it, while others won’t. But they’ll express through their little gestures that would scream out loud that they love you. Don’t be too stupid to not notice!

    And don’t expect everything to last forever. As bad as it might sound but ‘forever’ is a myth created by people like you and me to make our hearts feel secure. So instead of wishing for forever, let’s wish for ‘NOW’. Live in the present, Love people now, care for them now, be there for them now. And forever won’t be too far. Keep smiling Stay happy. 

No Strings Attached!

We humans are tuned in such a way that we love and care for those who are close to us. We do everything possible in our capacity to keep them happy. We seldom think twice before putting their wish and happiness before ours. Somewhere in our hearts we seek happiness in their joy. And in these times, we are the most ‘selfless’ individuals. We give way more than we have, We do things beyond our capacity. We are ready to cross oceans and move mountains for them. And we expect the same love and care in return.

The problem starts when we expect the same things in return. We expect the opposite person to be like us and do things that we would whole heartedly do for them. And when they do not meet our set standards or expectations, we get hurt. We start to wonder about our importance in their life. We wonder if even they would be willing to cross oceans for us. We wonder if we ever meant anything to them. So to say the least, our ‘love’ comes with  ‘*’ – a terms and conditions apply tag. We often forget that every individual is different. And that is why we try to judge them with parameters that we’ve set for ourselves.

As kids, we were often taught in our ‘moral science class’ that every individual is unique. Obviously, you wouldn’t be happy if someone is your exact copy in any way. We all know this, but we kind of forgot it when we left school. Some of us can express ourselves easily. But some of us just can’t get ourselves to express or convey what we feel. Some of us are outgoing and friendly, but others may take time to be able to express happiness or hurt. So maybe one person may regard something as good, but at the same time someone else might not find it conducive.  But this doesn’t mean that those who can’t get themselves to express their love and care easily don’t feel anything. Of course they do, but they choose not to be so open about their feelings and choices.

We don’t open up to anybody and everybody. Probably we’re scared of being misunderstood, scared of being hurt and alone or maybe just scared of being rejected. Somewhere our own insecurities and doubts hold us back. Maybe we’re too scared of being attached. Someone once told me: “never get attached to anyone or anything, learn to let go”. But my only argument was how do you not get attach to someone or something? Should you like stop and become anti-social? Because maybe if you do nothing you might not end up getting attached to anything or anyone.  (And I know that’s not possible right) Then how do you do it? It is like doing something that has the power to hurt you, but not actually giving it the power to do so. A Metaphor.

There is this universal rule: Everything that comes together falls apart. And we need to understand this. If we deserve something, it will come to you. But of course you need to make efforts to achieve it. And after a point, you need to let things unfold on its own. Ever heard of karma? She has a strange way of coming back and give you what you deserve. So keep sending out love and happiness in the universe, and see how this comes back to you in abundance. Always believe that if its meant for you, it will come back to you sooner or later. So Keep smiling through the confusion and live life by one rule: No strings attached! Stay happy !

Second thoughts

         Broken Friendships. Failed Relationships. Forgotten Dreams. Empty Promises. We believed them to be forever. But then does forever end the way we die? or is it the beginning?

         It is beyond my understanding that why do we meet new people in every phase of our life. Because everyone comes for a specific purpose and time. Some disappear in a blink of an eye. While, some stay no matter what the season. In life, we have the good apples and the bad ones. Few in our lives are the good apple, while others are the bad apples. The bad apples teach us some life-changing lessons; maybe we need it, maybe we don't. I mean why can't everyone just be a good apple? If i had my way, I'd make sure nobody had any bad experiences. Every person adds meaning to our life, leads us towards the direction we ought to go. But then why do we break friendships and why do we fail in relationships?

        We dream of achieving so much in a short span. Mostly, we dream about fame and money. But we also dream of never-ending love and being with those we love and care about.  But our dream for momentary pleasure overpowers our dream of love. We choose one over the other. Our worldly 'needs' outweigh our hearts 'desire'. In our conquest of achieving fame we forget the power of love. And someday we will pursue these forgotten dreams.

        We, humans, do two things very often and without giving a second thought. Just because it is cool and easy. First, swear. And second, Promise. There's no cure or prevention for the either of them. We promise too much and much too often. We seldom realize the value of promises being made. I believe if you promise something to a dear one, come what may, keep your word. Not for your own pride. Not for the devil named 'ego'. But out of respect to your relation with that person and the bond you share. And trust me, your heart will always be happy. Just imagine a world with fulfilled promises. <3

        We fight with the one's we love. And we fight for them with others. We fight with them for their love and care. Because only your heart knows that no matter how much you fight with them, they'll always love you. And they will always and forever be the precious people of your life. These 'precious people' may come in your life for a temporary period or maybe forever. Secret to be happy is to cherish them while you have them with you, Create memories - bitter and sweet, love unconditionally. And you'll never worry about happily ever after or a forever. because you already had a lovely beginning and a memorable middle. :D

       So next time maybe, you're in doubt about a friendship or a relationship, or maybe you're thinking of giving up on your dream and those promises, Stop and think why you came so far? Is what you 'have' worth giving up for what 'may be' ? Give your doubt a second thought, and i'm sure you wont just give up. Keep smiling! Stay happy! :D 

Happy Endings!

           Exams finally get over and i return to the love of my life - the TV! ( yes you read it right ) So i happened to come across 'The Santa Clause' Series being aired on one of the movie channels. Trust me, the little kid in me didn't want to go to sleep, though i was tired and sleepy as hell. The movie made me reflect on these little things of life - our little actions, behaviour, thoughts, etc. 

            The movie more or less advocates about keeping the kid in you, alive. When we grow up, we see things from a different perspective - one filled with logic and facts. There is no place for delusional things like magic and hope. But if you observe a child, he has this magic in his eyes, spring in his step and innocence in his actions. He believes in his parents and people who shower him with love and care. He demands nothing but love and affection. And that too, in abundance. He wont doubt you for a moment and will have complete faith in you. He embraces you with all your strengths and weaknesses. Loves you unconditionally and will only demand love in return. He will consider you his 'own'. He'll bring a smile to your face and brighten up your day. He believes in fairytale. And that wishing on a star makes your wish come true. That Li'l bundle of joy, however naughty, will teach you lessons of life despite having no wrinkles on his face and grey in his hair.

            If you come to think of it, a child is smart and wise than us - grown ups. We grow up and we grow apart from each other. We grow apart from those we love, things we believe, etc. People we loved turn into people we loved once upon a time. And things we believed in become delusional and nonsense for us. We trade the magic in our eyes for 'worldly pleasures', the spring in our step is burdened with responsibilities disguised as 'chores' and innocence is replaced by 'Practical thinking'. We fail to trust those we love and we love those who don't trust us. We seek everything, but love. We doubt intentions of every person who is good to us. We embrace people who have their pockets filled with money and who have a status worth showing off. We are more interested in searching 'arm candies' rather than establishing some soulful connections.We are in love with the idea of being in love. And we feel let down when the love we receive isn't in tandem with our idea of love. For us love is nothing but "mein tumhare liye chand-sitaarein tod launga" (I'll bring the moon and stars for you). We compel ourselves to believe that fairytales are a myth, that there is no such thing as a 'happy ending', we seldom believe in 'Happily-ever-after". No amount of wrinkle on our face and grey in our hair will be able to make us realize the value of people around us.

            So, why think so much? why don't we just have faith and put our trust in god and hope for the best? why do we give up so easily? why do we believe that happy endings are just fairytale stuff? Maybe its time to wake that li'll kid in us! and it's time to enjoy your lives, believe in the power of love and have faith in HIS plan. And maybe its not about the happy ending, its about the story! 

Message in a Bottle

       I was reading this book "Message in a bottle" by Nicholas Sparks. And most of you will agree to have fallen in love with almost all of his books, especially "A Walk to remember"! It is the epitome of love, it teaches you how to love, and what exactly it feels to have loved deeply and lost! It is about the crazy love, more about love-at-first-sight and things that make your heartbeats race and makes you go 'awww', while managing to make you cry, you feel the pain and hurt of those fictional characters as if it were happening to someone you knew or worst case scenario, it was happening to you itself ( god forbid )

       The story is all lovey-dovey and heart warming throughout, up until the climax. It made me realize what a great role 'Destiny' plays, how amazingly talented it is in its work! Two people, complete strangers, who are totally oblivious to each others existence, their lives get entwined in a fairy-tale way. They both have loved someone deeply in the past, losing their partners to fate. But destiny brings them together and how! And making everything perfect, the same destiny that brought them together, separates them! But before that happens, it gives them a reason to fall in love all over again, to fall in love with someone, to fall in love with life, in general. It helps them create memories together, that would be etched in their memories forever. Their world changes overnight, the gloomy, mundane days are now filled with love and warmth, hope and re-affirmed willingness to fall in love. Take a bow Mr. Destiny! First, bring two people together, make them fall in love with each other, more importantly they fall in love with 'love' itself. And then Mr. Destiny shakes it up a little, turning everything upside down. The wise men said, "If it was meant to be, it will always be". All of this, just re-affirms our faith in love, making it deeper and stronger.

       I don't know what is to have loved and lost and i really don't know what it is to fall in love either. but by what I've seen, heard and read about love, it's a beautiful feeling. But i know that most of us claim to be in love, but that makes me wonder. Can you really love someone selflessly, without any expectations in return? I guess all of us are in love with the idea of being in love. And there's where we lose the real essence of it! The book made me sit and wonder about many things of life, in general. One things for sure, in this game of life, Mr. Destiny is one big game changer and a very powerful and experienced one at that, too.

       When you are in love with someone and you know its for real, but then destiny separates you forever, where there's no hope or even the slightest chance of reunion with your loved one, there's no slight possibility of being with that person again, hugging them, telling them how much you love and care for them, why are they brought into your life in the first place? Ofcourse having them in your life, though for a brief moment is worth it but if death could separate you so soon and so easily, why would fate come up with a story like this for just anyone?

       One  question that the book answered, made me realize that that "happily ever after" can be for a short time, 'perfect' need not always be 'forever'. But then does forever end the day we die? or is it then the beginning?
Still a mystery ...! Stay happy... !  Keep Smiling ..!

P.s: This article is inspired by the same book, just random thoughts that lingered on my mind as an after-effect. ;)
P.p.s: To all those who haven't read it, do read it.
You surely don't want to miss out on something that takes your breath away! :D 

Love. Smile. Believe.

       All along this journey called life, we meet many people, build many relationships, create memories - good as well as bad, we love a few, care for them, receive love and care from those around us, make people feel special and a few make you feel special too. Then there are few bitter moments, fights, hurting others- knowingly or unknowingly, lose someone you  love, have misunderstandings... these things tear you apart and make you feel worthless. All of this makes your story. We don't realize, but all of this - each and every thing - however small and irrelevant event in our life makes our journey worth the while. 

      After every happy moment there has to be something that tears you apart. Just like after every bright morning there comes a night so dark that it scares you, but after every such scary dark night, comes a bright new morning... This promise of a bright morning and the hope in our heart, makes us live each day of our life. Similarly after every failure, every heartbreak, every loss, there lies ahead of us success, love, care, happiness - in abundance! 

      "If you don't see a dream come true, maybe it's not "yet" time ..."  It is this "hope" that is instilled in our hearts that makes us pick ourselves up every-time we stumble and fall. We should take both the good and the bad things in our stride and move ahead. People come into your life for a purpose. Everything happens for a reason. We wont realize this right away, but one day it will all make sense. When happiness arrives, say, “Welcome, Make yourself comfortable." when she  leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Similarly even when people leave you, let them leave, but do believe in the bond you shared, the memories you made, keep full faith and trust in your relations and they will find their way back to you! Have faith in god and his plans! 

                                                                                                               

      When you reach at the end of the rope, tie a knot and hold on! And remember, there is light at the end of every tunnel. The only difference is some tunnels are short while most of them are long, dark and scary. It's how you deal with these long, dark and scary nights that matter the most and this is what makes you strong. 

      In all this chaos and madness of life, remember to wear your best smile and be happy, feel happy and stay positive. All the ups and downs, every failure, every heartbreak and every other thing that puts you down is just making you strong, making you realize the worth of what you have, to treasure everything and everyone around you. 

Keep Smiling and Stay Happy! :D