An Open Letter to the 19-Year-Old Me

Hi there,

Before I start blabbering, let me warn you about the things I’m going to tell you (don’t worry, nothing major). Most of it will make you want to roll your eyes and throw this letter away. Some of it, you might just take it as advice (I’m not sure about it). Anyways, there are a few things you should know. Few things that kept you awake the whole night, that made you cry and scream, that made you angry and drove you crazy. Remember, when you step into my shoes, all of this - everything - will seem trivial and not worthy of your precious tears. These are things you’ll wish you knew, life wouldn’t have seemed to be such a big burden on your delicate shoulders. So, brace yourself.

There are nights when you cry yourself to sleep. Maybe because of that girl in school who said some nasty things about you. Maybe because you found out that the guy you liked had someone else in his life. Maybe you felt lost and couldn’t see where you want to be in the next few years. Maybe because you fought with your mom because she asked you to help her with some household chores. Maybe because you don’t really think you fit ‘in’ with the gang of friends you have in college, but losing them breaks your heart. Maybe because you can’t stand the rumors about you but you have no clue what to do about them. Maybe you’re crushed under the burden of proving yourself to everyone – family, friends, teachers and to strangers. People whom you don’t even know exist but you pass by them every day, pair of eyes who follow your footsteps from the moment you step inside the college gates to the moment you step out. Maybe because you’re lost and don’t know how those dreams and wishes would come true.

Take a deep breath, baby. Calm down. These problems might seem like mountains you’ll never be able to cross. But I assure you, you will. All you need is time and patience (which I  know you're not but what's the harm in trying?). Because when you look back, you’ll laugh at most of the things you spent hours being sad about.

Don’t worry about the nasty things people say to you, let those words not affect you. The guy who broke your heart isn’t the only guy who will do that. There will be times when you will, too, break hearts unknowingly or on purpose. But it’s all part of the game till you find someone you want to hold on to and who holds on to you too. I shall let you in on a little secret (feel free to tell those who you think might need to hear the same) you know how you and your friends hope to meet that perfect person meant for you? Well yeah, you’re not going to bump into him/her in the college or may neither find him /her seated next to you on the flight. But don’t lose heart you’ll eventually find that person. Your fights with your mom or dad might seem like a lot now, but believe me when I say they mean well. They’re the best you can get and all that you’ll ever need, so don’t hurt them because they love you with everything that they have. Next, the friends that you worry you’ll lose, let them go. Friends stay no matter what and if they don’t you’ll have to learn the hard way. Let people talk whatever they want about you, it’s because they can’t see you grow into a better person and achieve your dreams. But remember don’t hurt anyone in your quest to succeed and achieve laurels in life. Take them with you and remember those who helped you grow. Lastly, don’t worry about proving your worth to anyone at all. Don’t let other’s opinion about you stop you from doing what your heart wants.

Follow your heart, smile a lot, look forward to everything you do and give your best. Take those chances you’re scared to take, go to places you’ve never been, talk to people you don’t know and you’ll see life isn’t half as bad as you think it is.

I know you’re 19 and you’re probably rolling your eyes while reading all of this. It may sound preachy to you (all the wisdom I’ve gained over the years has made me wise, can’t help it bruh) but I know you’ll thank me later.

Love,

Your 24-year-old young self.

The Rants of a Twenty Something

Thinking about the could have’s and would have’s, imagining how your life would turn out to be if you would have made different choices and painting an imaginary picture in your head of the perfect happy life, we’ve all done this at some point or the other as we stride through our 20s! To say the least, I have thought about all these and more and it’s not even like a once-in-a-blue-moon kinda thing, it is more of a my-favorite-hobby kind of stuff. Guilty as charged. And I thought it is just me, but turns out most of us go through this, irrespective of the age bracket we fall in. For most of us who have just started out, I’d like to welcome you to the approaching-mid-twenties crisis club! (or maybe twisted twenties? Doesn’t matter, bleh. And yes, don’t worry you don’t need a formal swearing in ceremony or an invite to the exclusive club, open for all, I say)

As we begin the most exciting phases of our life, the part we’ve always looked forward to since we were tiny weeny kids, where we ought to be all charged up, enthusiastic and clear headed about all the possibilities that lie ahead of us. The irony is, we are the exact opposite, to be precise we are clueless as hell, nervous wrecks, waiting for someone to give us some sense of direction that too like literally hold our hands and point it out to us and say, “here child, this is the path you can take and this is how you go about”. And I know at this point many will disagree with me by saying “No we want to live life on our own terms and we wouldn’t want someone to dictate anything to us”. Well true that, but what do you do when you lose sight of that terms and conditions you made up for yourself? Think think.

You constantly struggle with each passing day, what with people weighing you down with plenty of decisions to make and countless hearts to keep happy. And trust me, taking decisions can get you down so badly that a petty thing like, say for instance deciding on a PG to stay, can get you worried and depressed beyond repair (experience speaks), where you’ll constantly question yourself whether it was the right choice you made. Expectations weigh you down and what adds more to all this drama is that you’re expected to be correct every time! That is too much to ask for, trust me I still get troubled while deciding on which flavor ice-cream should I get or what to have for lunch, while constantly thinking in my head “is that the right flavor for me?”. Don’t ask me to take life changing decisions, please? Too much stress I tell you.

And the constant need to be politically correct, everywhere. Leave alone the things you say, but also the expressions on your face also matters. I mean I hate the fact that my tongue and my expressions never matches, nope, I cannot control this one. Sighs. And most of us end up with a foot-in-the-mouth situation at the wrong time and at the wrong place with the wrong people. So much for freedom of speech?

On the other hand, friends and the special one’s in your life are supposed to make you feel happy. But no, how can you be happy and content with your life, especially when you’re in your twisted twenties? But when you’re doomed, everything and everyone decides to be after your life. Making sure that you don’t get on anyone’s nerves coupled with conversations that you must tread carefully or you might just get beaten up with heavy doses of emotional blackmail, is like walking inside a tunnel and hoping for a ray of light but instead the tunnel gets darker and darker as you keep trudging along. The thing is you’re no longer a kid, so you cannot just act like one, but it is perfectly fine when people around you behave like an infant who’s on a crying spree. But then did we get a warning that you’re supposed to be a patient and thoughtful grown up? Maybe that would’ve helped a teeny-weeny bit. Maybe. Maybe not.

Being in your twenties is fun, I must say (I feel better) but at the same time it is like you’re juggling several things and you’re failing miserably. In an attempt to save something, we are losing out on everything else. It’s like a race; a race to keep everyone happy, a race to prove that you’re totally worth it, and a race that has no finish line. The only difference is that you’re in a race with yourself, your own inhibitions and insecurities, your own shortcomings and issues. Sighs. If the twenties are so twisted, I just cannot imagine how the thirties will turn out to be, scared much? Hell yeah! But till then keep smiling and take in one day at a time. ?

Happiness is free

Sometimes I wonder why we run behind material things and worldly pleasures? why are we constantly chasing something or the other? Why do we think that only material possessions might bring happiness in our lives? Why are we becoming so shallow day by day? Why the greed and jealousy? Why do we envy others and judge them? Dude, what's the point of it all?

At the end of the day, we wont take any of these riches, awards and wealth along with us. Then why don't we seek more genuine happiness in our lives? The kind of happiness that is contagious and sends good vibes to those around us! We can just share it and see it multiply! Just simply smile at the lift man who you see everyday at your office building or maybe even a total random person, I bet you'll feel good instantly and that will definitely make your day! These little things will bring more happiness than those fat paychecks, shiny metals and expensive clothing ever can. I'm not saying that I'm not fond of these worldly posessions, of course I am!  But they certainly don't make my heart happy. And I would rather look for things and experiences that make my heart happy!

The other day I went to watch "The Jungle Book" with my 8 year old cousin. Oh boy! the excitement and the smile she had on her face was priceless. The happiness that she radiated, the innocence in her eyes and the way she enjoyed each and every moment without being

bothered about the people around her, it got me thinking! I realized we grown ups have forgotten to feel such kind of happiness, we have forgotten to express our feelings. We constantly keep chasing things one after the other but we seldom stop and rejoice in what we already have! We find everything so mundane and routine that we fail to enjoy the moment we're in and instead we constantly think about and anticipate the future. Sad but true, we've forgotten to feel truly, madly and deeply happy about the little things in life.

We always try to find answers to the " Why's and What if's " of life. And in this process we miss out on the little joys that life offers us. Sometimes we overlook the little things and rest of the time we just take everything for granted. We're never happy and content with what we have and continuously keep searching and seeking because yeh dil mange more! And this Dil of ours keeps asking for more and more. There's no end to this. So we start looking for happinesss where none exists and lose the true essence of life altogether!

So, probably we should slow down a little, We're not a machine right! The time we have is limited but the opportunities to experience happiness  and the little joys are abundant! And instead of looking away, searching for something else in a hopeless and never-ending quest, you and me should sieze the opportunity when it comes our way knocking at our door! Well, Carpe Diem much? 

Fun Fact: Smile. Laugh. Love. Spread happiness. These things are totally tax free! ;)

Keep smiling, Stay Happy! :)

Now - the new forever

      It’s funny how things change. It is said that change is an inevitable part of life. Totally agree. These changes aren’t so obvious and evident instantly. It may all look the same but when you ponder and look back you realize how far you’ve come.For example, two people start at point ‘A’ and as time passes by they reach point ‘E’ in their journey together. When they look back at the steps taken together and the years that have passed by, they notice the changes. It’s not only about the change in environment and external surroundings. But change in their equations, Change in their way of interacting with each other. Or maybe a change in the way they feel about each other. You can change in a million ways and still feel the same.

     Of course change is important and inevitable at the same time. We all know this. But I fail to realize the rationale behind change in feelings for people around you. Especially the ones you called ‘special’.  And the logic behind losing someone’s company – a friend, best friend or special someone- doesn’t make sense. It’s like trying to convince yourself to forget someone you loved and whose presence you cherished. Of course you’ll be devastated. But at the same time it’s true that you’ll get over it. Because Hey! everyone has the right to decide who stays and who doesn’t. So probably the best way out of this mess is to wrap up the bundle of memories, lock it inside your heart, wish the best for them and walk away. Remember that it’s best for you and them too. It is a universal fact that if something belongs to you and if it is meant for you, it will find its way back no matter what happens.

     In the past couple of months, staying away from home, interacting with new and different people, I’ve learned a lot of things. Lessons that I wouldn’t have understood if I were at home being pampered with love, warmth and care. Firstly, don’t take people around you for granted. They’re there because they love you. Secondly, keep reminding them now and then that you love them and that you appreciate their presence in your life. If something random happens and you’re reminded of them, call them or maybe send a text, it will bring a smile on their face and make their day. Thirdly, not everyone loves in the same way as you do. Every person is different and so is their way of expressing! Some might be able to say it, while others won’t. But they’ll express through their little gestures that would scream out loud that they love you. Don’t be too stupid to not notice!

    And don’t expect everything to last forever. As bad as it might sound but ‘forever’ is a myth created by people like you and me to make our hearts feel secure. So instead of wishing for forever, let’s wish for ‘NOW’. Live in the present, Love people now, care for them now, be there for them now. And forever won’t be too far. Keep smiling Stay happy. 

A New Beginning!

I've often seen people protect their hearts fiercely. Even if that means that they get labelled as heartless, stone hearted and cold. Probably because they've been hurt badly or maybe they've seen someone close go through hell. And more often than not, people get scared more because they've seen someone go through hell and suffer the pain. And maybe that is why we shield our hearts and wrap it with a 'Handle With Care'  tag.

When we suffer a heartbreak, it could be anything from someone breaking our trust,  leaving us in the middle of nowhere, or maybe just walking out for no reason. I've realized that it is not the heartbreak that causes the pain. It is the feeling of change and the fear of it that hurts and makes a person sad. It isn't the agony caused by a fight that haunts us, it is the darkness that the memories of the past brings into our present.

Most of us, see people go through hell, suffer silently and accept the pain. And this is the reason why most of us just generalize and jump to conclusions. We think that we're better off alone. We believe that building a wall around our heart will save us the trouble.We choose to not get close to anyone, often questioning the most genuine souls too. Because maybe somewhere deep down in our heart we believe that we might just fall for the wrong person.

We are tuned in such a way that we give way more than we receive. And most of the time, I've seen that people shower the wrong people with care, love, attention and time. And mind you, if someone gives you their attention, cares for you, loves you and gives you their time, it isn't because they have nothing else to do, it is because they have thousand other things to look after but still chooses you. But after a point, we just tend to give up. We give up on people, give up our hopes and mostly give up on life.

We live in our own world, where we choose to not understand things around us, living through the confusion, not believing that anything can happen if you give life another chance. And time and again, people move on and give life a second chance. A second chance to start afresh, to believe in magic and dream of dreams that could be true. And as they say ' Dil toh bacha hai ji!' Have faith and believe in the start of something new.

No Strings Attached!

We humans are tuned in such a way that we love and care for those who are close to us. We do everything possible in our capacity to keep them happy. We seldom think twice before putting their wish and happiness before ours. Somewhere in our hearts we seek happiness in their joy. And in these times, we are the most ‘selfless’ individuals. We give way more than we have, We do things beyond our capacity. We are ready to cross oceans and move mountains for them. And we expect the same love and care in return.

The problem starts when we expect the same things in return. We expect the opposite person to be like us and do things that we would whole heartedly do for them. And when they do not meet our set standards or expectations, we get hurt. We start to wonder about our importance in their life. We wonder if even they would be willing to cross oceans for us. We wonder if we ever meant anything to them. So to say the least, our ‘love’ comes with  ‘*’ – a terms and conditions apply tag. We often forget that every individual is different. And that is why we try to judge them with parameters that we’ve set for ourselves.

As kids, we were often taught in our ‘moral science class’ that every individual is unique. Obviously, you wouldn’t be happy if someone is your exact copy in any way. We all know this, but we kind of forgot it when we left school. Some of us can express ourselves easily. But some of us just can’t get ourselves to express or convey what we feel. Some of us are outgoing and friendly, but others may take time to be able to express happiness or hurt. So maybe one person may regard something as good, but at the same time someone else might not find it conducive.  But this doesn’t mean that those who can’t get themselves to express their love and care easily don’t feel anything. Of course they do, but they choose not to be so open about their feelings and choices.

We don’t open up to anybody and everybody. Probably we’re scared of being misunderstood, scared of being hurt and alone or maybe just scared of being rejected. Somewhere our own insecurities and doubts hold us back. Maybe we’re too scared of being attached. Someone once told me: “never get attached to anyone or anything, learn to let go”. But my only argument was how do you not get attach to someone or something? Should you like stop and become anti-social? Because maybe if you do nothing you might not end up getting attached to anything or anyone.  (And I know that’s not possible right) Then how do you do it? It is like doing something that has the power to hurt you, but not actually giving it the power to do so. A Metaphor.

There is this universal rule: Everything that comes together falls apart. And we need to understand this. If we deserve something, it will come to you. But of course you need to make efforts to achieve it. And after a point, you need to let things unfold on its own. Ever heard of karma? She has a strange way of coming back and give you what you deserve. So keep sending out love and happiness in the universe, and see how this comes back to you in abundance. Always believe that if its meant for you, it will come back to you sooner or later. So Keep smiling through the confusion and live life by one rule: No strings attached! Stay happy !

Second thoughts

         Broken Friendships. Failed Relationships. Forgotten Dreams. Empty Promises. We believed them to be forever. But then does forever end the way we die? or is it the beginning?

         It is beyond my understanding that why do we meet new people in every phase of our life. Because everyone comes for a specific purpose and time. Some disappear in a blink of an eye. While, some stay no matter what the season. In life, we have the good apples and the bad ones. Few in our lives are the good apple, while others are the bad apples. The bad apples teach us some life-changing lessons; maybe we need it, maybe we don't. I mean why can't everyone just be a good apple? If i had my way, I'd make sure nobody had any bad experiences. Every person adds meaning to our life, leads us towards the direction we ought to go. But then why do we break friendships and why do we fail in relationships?

        We dream of achieving so much in a short span. Mostly, we dream about fame and money. But we also dream of never-ending love and being with those we love and care about.  But our dream for momentary pleasure overpowers our dream of love. We choose one over the other. Our worldly 'needs' outweigh our hearts 'desire'. In our conquest of achieving fame we forget the power of love. And someday we will pursue these forgotten dreams.

        We, humans, do two things very often and without giving a second thought. Just because it is cool and easy. First, swear. And second, Promise. There's no cure or prevention for the either of them. We promise too much and much too often. We seldom realize the value of promises being made. I believe if you promise something to a dear one, come what may, keep your word. Not for your own pride. Not for the devil named 'ego'. But out of respect to your relation with that person and the bond you share. And trust me, your heart will always be happy. Just imagine a world with fulfilled promises. <3

        We fight with the one's we love. And we fight for them with others. We fight with them for their love and care. Because only your heart knows that no matter how much you fight with them, they'll always love you. And they will always and forever be the precious people of your life. These 'precious people' may come in your life for a temporary period or maybe forever. Secret to be happy is to cherish them while you have them with you, Create memories - bitter and sweet, love unconditionally. And you'll never worry about happily ever after or a forever. because you already had a lovely beginning and a memorable middle. :D

       So next time maybe, you're in doubt about a friendship or a relationship, or maybe you're thinking of giving up on your dream and those promises, Stop and think why you came so far? Is what you 'have' worth giving up for what 'may be' ? Give your doubt a second thought, and i'm sure you wont just give up. Keep smiling! Stay happy! :D